WINNIPEG — Minister of Finance, the Honourable James Michael Flaherty, announced today that Canada will officially resume production and distribution of the Canadian One Cent Piece as of February 27th, 2014.
“We have found a way to bring back the cherished coin so Canadians can start to collect pennies in coffee cans again,” said a beaming Flaherty to a small media conference in Winnipeg.
“The original decision to kill the penny was due to the fact that it cost more than a penny to make a penny, and it was a pain in the Trudeau for consumers, retailers, and financial institutions to handle.”
Responding to questions if this means new job opportunities for Winnipeggers at The Royal Canadian Mint, Flaherty responded, “I’m sorry to say the answer to that is no.”
“Having closely observed the U.S. Treasury’s recent program of outsourcing the manufacturing process of the USD $100 bills to China, I have concluded that it is a perfectly viable solution.”
“In our research we discovered that the Chinese company (Silk Alley Holdings Ltd.), which contracted with the U.S., has in fact subcontracted the job to an organization in Mumbai which does an outstanding job of manufacturing international coins, currencies and Salvador Dali prints.”
“We are proud to announce that we have reached an agreement with them to manufacture the new Canadian Pennies at a cost of 35 pennies for a nickel.”
The manufacturer’s representative Embleer Hraka of KasrahnInlé Unlimited in Mumbai, India, was quoted as saying, “We are so very excited about this new business partnership and eagerly await the opportunity to showcase our abilities in producing polimer [sic] currencies and game-worn Wayne Gretzky memorabilia as well!”
China’s Silk Alley previously held the contract to produce Canadian Tire Money until 2012 when the Canadian retailer cancelled the agreement after discovering that millions of dollars of car stereos, dashboard air fresheners, and air ionizers were purchased at their Richmond B.C. store with crisp Canadian Tire 10 Cent Bills and then shipped to Shanghai and Mumbai.
Reportering for The Lapine