Tar Sands Facial Mud Masks Latest Craze
NEW YORK — The New York Times is calling it the hottest beauty and skin-care product to hit the market in years and millions of mostly young professionals agree. Usually sold by the barrel,...
Author: The Lapine
Harper Says He Twerks Occasionally — Thinks It Means Tweeting
TORONTO — Prime Minister Stephen Harper had a group of community leaders wondering if they’d heard right today when he told them that he enjoys “twerking” but only does it with close friends and...
NSA to Offer Proof-Reading, Filter Services
WASHINGTON, DC — Months after the NSA admitted that it monitors the electronic and telephone communications of nearly every American citizen, the clandestine organization held a press conference on Monday to make an offer...
YouTube Asked to Yank YMCA Song — Culturally Insensitive to a Hard Hat
TORONTO — The Ontario Union of Construction Workers (OUCW) yesterday petitioned YouTube to remove the popular 70’s music video “It’s Fun To Stay At The YMCA” performed by the Village People because of the...
Trudeau Charged by Ottawa Police with Illegal Possession of Lawn Darts
OTTAWA — Ottawa Police today served a search warrant and raided the home of Liberal leader Justin Trudeau looking for marijuana but came away almost empty-handed. They did not find any marijuana but did...
Future History Student Doesn’t Understand 21st Century
NEW JING, 2333AD- Future history student Muhamed Jose Chang is struggling to understand the United States of the 21st century, the nation Selucia itself is descended from. “I really don’t understand how intelligent, high-functioning...
