Author: The Lapine

Harper’s Request to be on Wheaties’ Box Turned Down

Harper’s Request to be on Wheaties’ Box Turned Down

TARRYTOWN, NY — The Breakfast of Champions will not feature the smiling face of Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper despite his formal request and Mr. Harper providing dozens of pictures of himself curling, duck...

Voter Donations to Harper Retirement Fund Top $4 Million

OTTAWA — Liberal leader Justin Trudeau announced today that a Kickstarter-like crowd-funding campaign has been a big hit with voters raising more than $4 million to lure Prime Minister Stephen Harper into hanging up...

Ex-President Bush Finishes Reading First Book

CRAWFORD, TX — George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States, proudly announced today that he has finished reading his first book and, surprisingly, it’s not the bible. “All my friends was...

Harper Unveils “Subtle” Changes to Canadian Flag

OTTAWA — Prime Minister Stephen Harper surprised media this morning by unveiling a “new-look” Canadian flag in red, white, and blue that “just by fluke” matches the colours of the Conservative Party’s logo. “I...