Author: The Lapine

Half-Quebecois Man Separates From Himself

MONTREAL -In a major innovative surgical operation and one of the first of its kind, Quebec resident Antoine Lavoie successfully separated from himself, though sadly, he died shortly afterwards. Born to a Quebecois father...

Sudan Refugee Crisis Now Officially ‘Soo Yesterday’

It has now been confirmed that the desperate plight of Sudan’s refugees is now officially ‘sooo yesterday’. The long debate on whether this issue is still ‘hip’ was officially ended on Tuesday when several...

Scientists Discover “American Exceptionalism Gene”

NEW YORK — In what is being called a “shocking discovery”, an international team of biologists led by the renowned Dutch geneticist Dr. Elwin Gibbons announced today that they have discovered a uniquely “American”...

Quebec Bans The Use Of Lawnmowers

Despite the decimation of the Bloc Quebecois in the last federal election, Quebec has managed to pass a controversial new law to protect French culture within the province. Bill 92, introduced by the Bloc...

Ogopogo Attack Hospitalises Victim

It had always been Hailey’s dream to find the Ogopogo. Relatives fondly recall memories of Hailey’s past adventures exploring Okanogan Lake. “She would always be down at the lake. Wanting to see the massive...

Atheist Suicide Bomber Kills Eighteen Agnostics

STOCKHOLM -In a frightening display of rising sectarian violence, an atheist suicide bomber blew himself up on a busy street in Stockholm three days ago; killing eighteen agnostics and wounding over thirty.  Members of...