Bieber Named Ambassador To Japan


With a new free-trade deal on the table between Canada and Japan, Prime Minister Stephen Harper today appointed Justin Bieber as Ambassador to Japan.

“This is a great cultural exchange,” said Harper at newly renamed Sony Airport (formerly Pearson Airport in Toronto).  “Negotiations have been tough but fair.  We refused to give up Celine Dion.”

According to documents released by Weakerleaks, Japan had been pressing for fishery control off Vancouver Island, the back list of Guess Who songs, and Nova Scotia.  Weakerleaks reports that Canada offered asbestos, Anne Murray, and Julie Andrews (an American reported to actually be Anne Murray.)

Reached only by twitter, Ambassador Bieber replied, “Baby, baby, baby.”

The Toronto Mayor’s office was unavailable for comment on the name change for the airport.


Steve Boyd

Reporting For The Lapine



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