Bieber’s Codpiece Reels in Million Dollar Bid



A mystery bidder drove a hard bargain at a Justin Bieber charity auction on Saturday, paying one million dollars for the codpiece the “Baby” singer famously used to boost his bulge.

The apparatus was employed during Bieber’s controversial Calvin Klein photo shoot last year, with the Internet erupting over claims that the photos were heavily doctored.


Bieber initially denied the allegations, claiming that his newly-buff physique was the result of his strict adherence to former Calvin Klein spokesmodel Mark Wahlberg’s renowned Marky Mark Workout.


Hosted by Bieber’s grandparents in his hometown of Stratford, Ontario, the auction includes such prized Bieberphrenalia as his used Toronto Maple Leafs comforter, Nike basketball shoes, and the wheelchair he famously used to jump the lines at Disneyland.

The codpiece (which according to sources is actually an old CCM jockstrap) was a late addition to the item list, FedExed to Stratford by Bieber himself on Friday to enhance the auction.


Following the offer, Bieber’s grandparents were scrambling to find more bulge-related Bieber baubles to put up for sale. As of press time several tube socks and a pair of Spider Man underpants had been added to the list of auction items.

Little is known about the mystery buyer at this time, save for the fact that they’re a person of means with a clear predilection for Bieber’s private parts.

Reportering for the Lapine,

Bruce Bulger



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