Canadian Seniors Smoking Pot and Having Sex — Red Cross


old-couple-kissing-sizedTORONTO — The image of Canada’s polite aging baby boomers being worried about falling in the shower and breaking a hip has been refuted by a Red Cross study.

“We thought people of retirement age would tell us they needed more fiber to improve their lives,” said Antel Sedon, Director of Social Research at Red Cross International Canada.

“But more than half of the senior citizen respondents told our researchers to “bugger off”…they said they were just fine thanks, and credit having a regular toot and a damn good laugh having sex.”

“No worries about blood pressure or hemorrhoids or anything like that.”

Eighty-nine percent of the research participants over the age of 70 in the Seniors-To-End-Of-Life research study said they had recently inhaled marijuana and then taken part in enthusiastic sex with their life partner or with a total stranger.

“I got high and had sex with the Meals-On-Wheels guy,” said research participant Ida (81) blushing as she talked about sex, drugs and rock n’ roll.

“Sorry. But it was fantastic. Right over there on my Lazy Boy recliner with Pink Floyd playing on my little cassette player.”

“Then we shared the Macaroni and Cheese that he’d brought for my dinner.”

“This getting stoned thing makes me really hungry you see…”

“…and just a bit…umm…frisky. Oh dear. Did I just say that?”

Sue Dunum
Reportering for The Lapine




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