Obama Apologizes to Harper for Not Spying on Him
Coming in the wake of Prime Minister Harper’s expression of ‘hurt’ that he was one of the few world leaders the NSA deemed unworthy of tracking, a belated apology has been issued. “Okay…this is...
Category: Canada
Trudeau Switches Shampoos to Try and Perk Up His Poll Numbers
OTTAWA — Justin Trudeau is blaming dull, lifeless hair for his recent slide in polls but the Liberal leader announced today that he’s feeling more confident and leaderly since switching to Pantene Pro-V Shampoo....
Unnamed Hairy Senator Expensed $7,285 in Back Waxings
OTTAWA — Refusing to say whether the Senator who claimed weekly back hair removal expenses is male or female, Canada’s Auditor General said today that the procedure is just one example of the many...
Harper’s Closet Converted into Small Private Lounge
OTTAWA — The tiny mop room that Prime Minister Stephen Harper retreated to during last October’s tragic shooting on Parliament Hill is no longer open to picture-snapping tourists on guided tours. The approximately 2-metre...
Harper Promises ████ After C-51 Passes
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Dairy Queen Adds Vodka Milkshakes to Summer Menu
LOS ANGELES — You can now get a Smirnoff Milkshake or Jim Beam Bourbon Blizzard at your local Dairy Queen as the ice cream and fast-food chain moved today to counter Taco Bell’s announcement...
