WASHINGTON — Tiny 83-year-old Ida Stanley was taken into police custody early today after she attempted to handcuff and haul away Senator Ted Cruz for “crimes against sanity.” “Rafael Edward Cruz, I hereby arrest...
Following Republican attempts to seize the Senate, Obama has ordered a nation-wide military crackdown, pushing the divided nation closer to the breaking point. Two prominent Republican lawmakers have ‘disappeared’ while hundreds more have been...
LONDON — Famous for big-bazoomered Page 3 girls and in-depth reporting on Prince William’s new “oozy” (pimple) on his chin, British tabloids went about their business today with no mention of the U.S. hard...
DALLAS — Republican Senator Ted Cruz took a hammer to his iPhone last night in a dramatic and fiery sermon to the Southern Baptists of Texas. “The Devil is a sweaty homosexual who whispers...
BALTIMORE, MD — The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) today asked white people to stop patting the heads of black people to see what their hair feels like. “If you...
CRAWFORD, TX — George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States, proudly announced today that he has finished reading his first book and, surprisingly, it’s not the bible. “All my friends was...
