Chinese Leader Asks Harper if He Can Touch His Hair

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BEIJING — The New York Times is reporting today that Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper was visibly flustered when China’s President Xi Jinping’s first question during a photo op was how he keeps his hair from moving.

“Mr. Harper was very taken aback when Xi (pronounced “Walter”) crossed the stage to greet the Prime Minister and, instead of shaking hands as is customary, pointed at his signature hair style,” wrote International Correspondent Douglas Peters.

“Xi could clearly be heard asking Harper if he could pat his hair.”

“Mr. Harper’s diplomatic smile collapsed and he dipped his head down for Xi to give his hair several pats as if he was calming a puppy,” said Peters.

“Never seen anything like it.”

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Harper’s Chief Spokesman Jason MacDonald told Times and CBC reporters afterward that the gesture “was one of deep respect from one world leader to another.”

“It is a rare and little-know custom for Chinese leaders to run their fingers through the hair of other esteemed world leaders they consider their equal.”

“Prime Minister Harper was obviously moved by the gesture and looks forward to presenting Xi Jinping with a selection of Old Spice Thickening Hair Care products.”

While the Canadian P.M. has touted the scheduled 20-minute meeting with Xi as vitally important to world peace and trade, officials for the President of the People’s Republic of China (PRC) have limited the talk topics to oil, liquified natural gas, and China’s move to purchase most of Alberta.

“Prime Minister Harper attempted a fist bump with Xi after getting his hair patted but Xi did not return the gesture,” said the Times.

William Yum
Reportering for The Lapine

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