Colorado Pot May Contain Peanuts — HEALTH ALERT ISSUED

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DENVER: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has issued a Health Alert and product recall early this morning after traces of peanuts, almonds and pecans were found in marijuana sold at two newly legalized Denver stores.

“High trace levels of honey-roasted peanuts, cajun-spiced almonds and hickory-smoked pecans were found in 6 of 420 samples tested,” said Dr. Adelle Harvey, Director of the Department of Health’s Lab Services in New York.

“Peanut allergies kill more Americans than marijuana every year. At this time there are no reported cases of illness from nut-infused marijuana in Colorado but we are suggesting extreme caution.”

The Health Alert advises users not to “smoke, vaporize, eat, inject or otherwise insert into any orifice” any of the recalled products:
– Laughing Skunk
– Sticky Licorice
– Accidental Tourist
– Processed Cheese
– Tush Kush
– Fuck Yeah.

These brand names were sold at numerous retail outlets and consumers are advised to destroy any marijuana sold under these or similar names.

“I thought my pot tasted a bit like Skippy…or maybe Jif,” Dwight Edgars (51) told MSNBC as he arrived at Peace Out Marijuana hoping to return what remained of a recently purchased ounce of Juicy Lucy.

“My wife thought it had hints of Peter Pan but that stuff is pretty sweet and not as nutty as the smooth Skippy kind.”

State Senator Greg Brophy (R) told FOX News that he will be drafting emergency legislation requiring all marijuana to be labeled with nut warnings.

 
William Yum
Reportering for The Lapine

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