Confident Harper Pre-Records His Victory Speech Well in Advance of Fall Election


Harper-Wins-2011-SizedOTTAWA — Prime Minister Stephen Harper is so sure he will win a fourth term in office that he has already filmed his rousing acceptance speech complete with a marching band.

And a crowd of chanting civil servants.

And a 2-minute medley of him singing Stompin’ Tom Connors tunes.

“Wow! Another majority? This is a total surprise — merci and thank you Canada,” Harper is seen shouting to the frenzied crowd of government employees as confetti streams down around him in the tape obtained by the Ottawa Citizen earlier today.


“Today, voters have said loudly and clearly once again that they overwhelmingly support what I’m doing with Canada.”

“Nine years ago, I promised you a new Canada, a stronger economy — a country you would not even recognize.”

“With another four years as your leader, I will make you even safer from your neighbours who could all be terrorists or environmentalists — or both.”


The Citizen and CTV are both reporting that the months-in-advance videotaped acceptance speech cost $374,000 that will be charged to the $75 million Economic Action Plan TV budget.

The victory speech video was written by Stephen Harper, starring Stephen Harper, co-starring 400 public relations workers from the PMO’s office who acted as grateful voters in the crowd scenes, camera operator Stephen Harper, lighting Stephen Harper, directed by Stephen Harper, produced by Stephen Harper, and with musical guest Stephen Harper.

Thomas Mulcair’s NDP currently lead Stephen Harper’s Conservatives by 6 percentage points to form the next government, with Justin Trudeau’s Liberals tied with Elizabeth May’s Green Party for third.

National polls show Harper now trails None Of The Above in the rankings of who would make the best Prime Minister.

Robin Steele
Reportering for The Lapine




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