Congress Passes Bill To Make Congressional Voting Anonymous

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The Bill dubbed ‘Voting Anonymous’ was passed by the Republican majority congress, late last week. The bill will make all future congressional votes anonymous, only extending the same privileges to congressmen, they insist, that other citizens already enjoy.

“For too long have our very jobs been threatened by our voting choices. No longer. Freedom.” Is how notable Republican Paul Ryan framed the bill (yet to be signed by President Obama).

“How dare Emperor Obama hold off from signing this historic bill and continue to use our past and future votes as a lever in which to loudly threaten our very employment. Freedom.” Is how House Majority Speaker Jim Bohener put it.

If signed into law, this bill will make all Congressional votes strictly anonymous with only the final tally Yes or No votes presented with names of congressmen removed.

Some liberals feared that this would decrease transparency but Congress assured the American people that they have their best interests at heart. So the case is closed.

This is on the eve of the particularly controversial election of Monsanto to represent Georgia’s fifth district, on the eve of a particularly expensive advertising campaign. The collective entity, a legal person, will now represent the district in Congress.

Jimmy C. Steaks
Reportering For The Lapine

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