Does Smoking Lead To Murder? Yes.

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Smoking! Prison! Murder! Save the children! A new study has shown that a resounding 90% of convicted criminals smoke. So The Lapine dares to take this further and ask the question: will smoking turn your children into criminals?

The answer, most obviously, is YES.

SAVE THE CHILDREN!

The Lapine’s intrepid reporters have also heroically uncovered statistics that 95% of murderers ARE CRIMINALS!  DO you want your children to become murderers!?

It happens EVERY TIME, at an estimated estimate of 90 percentish of the time. This link is demonstrated in the flashy graphic below.

 

 

 

NEXT time you see a probable murderer smoking: CALL THE POLICE! SAVE THE CHILDREN!

Does smoking also destroy the soul? Yes, The Lapine certainly believes murder destroys the human soul.

As of press time, The Lapine has embarked on a new and groundbreaking study to evaluate whether marijuana is a gateway drug.

 

Timothy Timmons

Reporting For The Lapine

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