Grandmother Refuses to Apologize for Asking Harper What Tricks He Still Has Up His “Bum”

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MONTREAL — 74-year-old Elsie Murray told reporters this morning that she regrets being a “wee bit rude” but says she will not say sorry to Prime Minister Stephen Harper for asking him what last-minute manoeuvres he is going to pull out of his anatomy.

The grandmother of four became a bit of a hero in her seniors’ complex yesterday after she confronted Harper and a group of his handlers when they arrived unannounced at dinner time and began moving several people in wheelchairs into a circle around the PM.Harper-Crokinole-sized“Prime Minister Harper just showed up suddenly in our dining hall eating a hamburger,” said Mrs. Murray, slightly nervous and flustered from the media attention.

“Nobody knew he was coming and he just stood there chewing while a lady put makeup on him. Lots of powder…too much I think.”

“He didn’t say a word until he was done his hamburger and someone started taking pictures.”

“I’d never seen the Prime Minister in person before but when he started talking loudly like we were all deaf, I guess I got a bit angry.”Harper-Makeup-SizedResident Manager Giselle Bonnett told the Montreal Gazette that the Prime Minister and his public relations team arrived without notice or permission but didn’t get to stay long as the normally-quiet Murray surprised everyone when she interrupted Harper as soon as he began speaking.

“Oh, it was actually poetic justice in action,” said Bonnett.

“Mr. Harper had just started smiling and saying ‘Friends’ in a loud voice when Elsie came roaring up from a table in the back…he froze, the cameras stopped, and Elsie let ‘er rip.”old-people-clapping-sized“Elsie asked him who heck he thought he was and if he thought Canadians were stupid.  She called him a fibber who doesn’t even knows when he’s fibbing. It was wonderful!”

“But the best moment…this is when everyone started to clap and hoot…was when Elsie asked Mr. Harper about his election tricks.”

“I can’t imitate it but she almost shouted, “Face it!  You are losing! What sneaky political tricks are you going to pull out of your…….”

“And then Elsie just stopped.  Everyone was waiting to see if she’d say “out of your ass”.”

“But after only a second or two, Elsie smiled and just quietly said “out of your bum” and then repeated the whole sentence — “What sneaky political tricks are you going to pull out of your bum, Mr. Prime Minister?”

“Best standing ovation I’ve ever seen…not everyone could stand of course but it was pretty wild in the old dining hall last night.”

Bonnett said the Prime Minister and his team abandoned their photo op immediately after Mrs. Murray’s outburst, returning those in wheelchairs to their tables before leaving.

Conservative election spokesman Kory Teneycke told CTV News Montreal that the Prime Minister regrets that Mrs. Murray had an “unfortunate misunderstanding” of his visit.

William Yum
Reportering for The Lapine

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