Harper Attack Ad Says Trudeau Injects Marijuana Between His Toes

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OTTAWA — Prime Minister Stephen Harper said today he stands by Conservative TV and internet ads that say Liberal leader Justin Trudeau is a reefer madman who is always stoned and eating Cheez Doodles in Parliament.

“Look. The ad is simple. I am high on Canada. Mr. Trudeau is high on an addictive drug that is turning our youth into mush-brains,” Harper told media this morning.

“I see the telltale signs on him every day…glazed eyes, slight smell of mold or something, bright ties, and ever notice how much he smiles and laughs?”

I saw actual marijuana once so I know what to watch for.”

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“I know Canadians want me to only talk about terrorism but I can’t not talk about this pothead.”

“It’s been proven that Mary Jane makes you hallucinate and the drug-baffled Mr. Trudeau is without a doubt in a dream world if he thinks he’s fit to lead Canada.”

The attack ad being challenged as possible propaganda does not actually show Trudeau injecting marijuana into any body part but the announcer asks Canadians if they “want a leader who mainlines drugs into his face or between his pedicured toes.”

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Trudeau admitted in 2013 that he has smoked marijuana even as a sitting Member of Parliament but says it was that or throw his shoe at Prime Minister Harper. NDP Opposition Leader Thomas Mulcair has also come clean that he regularly puffs pot before Question Period “just for the LOLs”.

The Conservative Party of Canada has never done attack ads,” said Harper.

“Our ads tell the truth and nothing but the truth.”

“Canadians have a right to know that Justin Trudeau is a stoned little shit with a totally gay head of hair…how is saying that an attack ad?”

Lee Whey
Reportering for The Lapine

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