Harper Gives Obama His Beaver


WASHINGTON – Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has blatantly stepped up efforts to improve relations with U.S. President Barack Obama with the gift of his favorite 2-year-old neutered beaver, Slick.

Relations between Harper and Obama have been frosty since Obama was recorded referring to the Prime Minister as a “large lump” which led the Canadian P.M. to swear off Taco Bell and to join Weight Watchers.

“Giving your beaver as a gift is a Canadian political tradition,” said a defensive Harper responding to reporters’ shouted questions while visiting the Panda exhibit at Toronto’s zoo.

“They make excellent pets.”

Political experts on both sides of the border say they can find no history of beaver-giving and are criticizing and even scoffing at the gift of a rodent.

CNN called the gift a “hokey and ham-handed gesture” to win favour with Obama at a time when he is considering whether or not to approve the controversial Keystone Pipeline.


FOX News took the opposite stance calling the 55 pound (25 kg) beaver gift “the sort of gesture more countries such as Pakistan should make to the U.S.” and devoting a full hour to the young rescue animal’s natural home in the “pristine hills and plains of the Canadian tar sands.”

“The Castor canadensis is Canada’s national animal, a symbol of our industrialness,” read the gift card attached to the young rodent’s cage when it arrived at the White House. “This gift is a sign of the close friendship between our two countries and proves that our common goals are more than pipe dreams.”

Included with the live gift was a $120,000 Cdn cheque for “construction of a reedy pond and the planting of trees for chopping and dam building” on White House grounds.

No comment has been released by Obama or the White House but a gardener near the Rose Garden who asked to remain anonymous told MSNBC that he’s not sure where the “reedy pond” will go and that he’s never been near a beaver.

“Nope. Not even a Canadian beaver.”

“Really kinda weird though…one leader just givin’ up his beaver for another leader…least I think so.”

Robin Steele
Reportering for The Lapine



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