Harper Lends Canada’s 1964 Helicopter to U.S. Air Force for Iraq Mission

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OTTAWA — In a fiery speech today about global terrorists, environmental protesters and Justin Trudeau’s marijuana addiction, Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced that Canada will “join the battle” and put its 1964 Sea King helicopter into military action in Iraq.

“I’m proud to tell Canadians today that I’ve authorized our Sea King to have an oil change and be gassed up to go get some bad guys,” Harper told a Conservative Party fundraiser at the decommissioned Canadian Forces Base Uplands.

“My understanding is that we’re just waiting for new tires and wiper blades and she’s ready to go.”

“I’m not afraid of any Muslim bullies let me tell you.”

The U.S. is currently engaged in air attacks to repel Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) militants from advancing further into Iraq with reassurances from President Barack Obama that there will be no “boots on the ground”.

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The U.S. was previously at war with Iraq from 2003 to 2011 but Canada “declined the invitation to participate” under then Liberal Prime Minister Jean Chretien.

“Chretien’s a sissy nancy girl. We should be polishing up our bullets and getting in there,” Mr. Harper told the Globe and Mail in 2003. At that time he was leader of the now-defunct Canadian Alliance Party.

“I will have further announcements about committing our tank to action within the next few days,” Harper told the Conservative audience to enthusiastic applause.

A White House spokesman told CBC the President was unaware of Mr. Harper’s helicopter announcement.

The Royal Air Force Sea King will be trucked to Washington.

Dan LeHomme
Reportering for The Lapine

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