Harper offers Justice Scalia asylum and judicial appointment

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Supreme Court Justices Scalia and Ginsburg Discuss First Amendment At Forum
In response to recent developments in the United States, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has offered U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia asylum in Canada, a move that has many applauding him for his humanitarianism.

Justice Scalia, who dissented in last week’s U.S. Supreme Court rulings upholding Obamacare and nationalizing marriage equality, was last seen trembling as he left the Supreme Court Friday, pushing his way through a crowd of marriage equality supporters, leaving behind a copy of a torn U.S. Constitution, mumbling to himself “it’s over”.

A spokesperson for Canada’s Citizenship and Immigration who watched the scene unfold said it was heartbreaking. “He has absolutely nowhere to turn.”

Prime Minister Harper offered the persecuted justice asylum, further enticing him with a judicial appointment, as soon as heard Scalia and his wife were going to divorce – their heterosexual marriage now threatened by the freedom of others. The Prime Minister told Scalia that he’s recently appointed two new judges to the Ontario Court of Appeal, both of who oppose gay marriage.

“You have friends in Canada. Let’s work together to fix things. The world doesn’t have to go to shit.”

Josh ScheinertReportering for The Lapine

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