Harper Scores 8 Goals in Kids Street Hockey Game

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Harper-Street-Hockey-SizedOTTAWA — Two days ago, Prime Minister Stephen Harper skewered Russian President Vladimir Putin for “laughable political propaganda” after he scored 7 iffy goals in an exhibition hockey game on his 63rd birthday.

This morning, Harper took to the street in front of TV cameras and one-upped Putin by scoring 8 unassisted goals against a group of 12 and 13-year-old boys and girls in a hastily-called ball hockey game.

“I got lucky on one goal there I admit,” said a profusely sweating Harper following the half-hour, 8-0 rout.

“But they played a tough game. It got a little chippy there for a bit…that kid in the leg cast slapped one right at my groinal area on purpose I think.”

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“But we settled things down and stuck to my game plan. The guys did a great job of feeding me the ball right by the cameras the entire game.”

Harper was presented with the game MVP trophy by his Minister of National Defence and game referee Jason Kenney following the final whistle as MPs crowded in for the PM’s autograph.

“Our Prime Minister played a glorious game today,” a chirpy Kenney told the Ottawa Citizen.

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“This was a great chance for voters to see how much their leader loves the game, and it was the thrill of a lifetime for these kids.”

“Each one of the players today is getting a signed copy of his best-selling hockey book that he wrote without a ghost writer.”

A Great Game” is available to all Canadians on Amazon for just $21.95 plus shipping,” said Kenney.

TSN is reporting that one of Harper’s goals was scored on a penalty shot awarded after the PM stopped play to complain that he had been interfered with by Trevor the 12-year-old goalie.

Harper finished the game with 8 goals, 4 holding penalties, an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty, and an undisclosed lower body injury.

Robin Steele
Reportering for The Lapine

 

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