Harper Unveils “Subtle” Changes to Canadian Flag
OTTAWA — Prime Minister Stephen Harper surprised media this morning by unveiling a “new-look” Canadian flag in red, white, and blue that “just by fluke” matches the colours of the Conservative Party’s logo.
“I was doodling with my magic markers a while back and it just came to me out of the blue. Our flag needs some blue!” said Harper sporting a lapel pin with his proposed new flag design.
“Frankly, the boring old flag doesn’t reflect my new Canada…we needed something with more energy, something gutsier to better reflect my world leadership role.”
When a CBC reporter pointed out that Harper’s new flag colours are identical to the Conservative Party logo the PM said he was surprised by the question and hadn’t really noticed the similarity.
“Wow…I guess if you squint at our new flag you could maybe see some loose, loose likeness to my party’s logo colours. But my new design really captures the new Canada…bold and not to be messed with.”
“Proud Canadians will rally behind this new flag as a patriotic symbol of what Canada has become.”
Liberal Party leader Justin Trudeau reacted immediately telling the Ottawa Citizen, “I, like most Canadians, must now question the very sanity of Mr. Harper. Has he gone nuts? That’s a real and pressing question. Has Mr. Harper’s ego finally won the sweaty arm-wrestling match that goes on in his brain.”
“The NDP has been calling loudly for increased spending on mental health care and Mr. Harper just proved the need,” said opposition leader Tom Mulcair.
The red, white and blue flag was reportedly approved by the Conservative caucus late last night and the Prime Minister’s Chief Spokesman Rob Nicol said following the PM’s announcement that Parliament’s approval is not required.
“There is not at all a move by our Prime Minister to put another Conservative Party stamp on Canada,” said Nicol.
“Prime Minister Harper has always had a flair for design and he’s done us all proud.”
“Nothing political to see here. Take our word for it.”
Reportering for The Lapine