Inconsiderate Couple Shows Up On Time


VANCOUVER- Local couple Daniel and Theresa, awkwardly, rudely and with great inconsideration, arrived at their new neighbor’s dinner party at exactly six o’clock when the event  had been scheduled on Facebook. Their new neighbors, Don and Nancy, having recently moved into the neighborhood, expressed disappointment at Daniel and Theresa’s timely arrival. “We thought a dinner party would be a good way to meet our new neighbours, we thought people might start arriving around seven at the earliest but… Fuck.”

According to reports, having arrived on time, almost an hour before expected, led to an painful hour of stilted, convoluted and forced conversation between the couples. The situation grew worse when Nancy, finishing up cooking a roast beef in the kitchen, left her partner Daniel alone; to awkwardly explain and re-explain his initial thoughts of yesterday’s weather and the neighborhood ‘quality’.

It wasn’t ‘so bad’ when just before seven, the other invited couples arrived an hourish late, on time. With enough strangers, things took on a life of their own, sort of.  Daniel and Theresa had to be painfully reintroduced and had already inexcusably ran through all the small-talk that could now no longer be comfortably run through again, stilting further conversation with the newcomers.

When just-arrived Sam asked “what is for dinner”, after arriving at 7:05 precisely, Daniel and Theresa already knew, throwing the whole question “out of wack” and sapping its anticipation.

As of press time, Don and Nancy currently plan to attend Daniel and Theresa’s barbecue next weekend, exactly on time, and then to leave after a reasonable yet subtly insulting, mere two hours.

Bill Smith

Reportering For The Lapine



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