India’s PM Modi Suggests Harper “Eat a Snickers”

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OTTAWA — Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi attempted to calm Stephen Harper today for “frightening the tandoori chicken” out of Canadians over terrorism and suggested the Canadian PM might not be himself when he’s hungry.

“Here. Eat a Snickers,” said Modi with a grin immediately following Harper’s welcome-to-Canada speech that only briefly touched on Canada-India relations before quickly turning into a pre-election style speech warning Canadians not to talk to strangers.

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“I assure you Mr. Prime Minister that India wishes you peace but I will take your stirring words to heart today and be alert for any devious terrorists,” Modi said as he waved off an aide trying to hand him a Snickers bar.

The snickers comment by Modi drew snickers from reporters and Harper’s body guards but got no reaction from Mr. Harper who had marched over to be photographed having the military honour guard salute him.

Prime Minister Modi is on an official three-day visit to Canada, the first such visit by an Indian Prime Minister since 1973 when Justin Trudeau’s late father, Pierre, was Canada’s PM. Modi will also travel to Vancouver, and Toronto where a crowd of more than 10,000 people are expected to attend a Modi rally and receive a free “I Love Stephen Harper” t-shirt.

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“I look forward very much to meeting with Prime Minister Harper to discuss trade between our two countries…Mr. Harper telephones me a lot to talk about ISIS and why President Obama will no longer Skype with him,” said Modi.

“It will be refreshing to talk about other things.”

Prime Minister Modi is not well known among Canadians but has rapidly gained international stature since his landslide election win in May, 2014. Previously barred from entering the United States and the target of protesters in India over his reported lack of action during 2002 intercommunal riots in Gujarat state when he served as Chief Minister, Modi now enjoys near rock-star status around the world and recently recorded an album of oldie goldies with Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett.

“I myself have never tasted a Snickers Bar but will gladly eat several of them with Prime Minister Harper if it will allow us to talk about something else besides terrorism,” said Modi before bowing, saying namaste, and being hustled into a waiting car by RCMP.

Robin Steele
Reportering for The Lapine

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