Koch Brothers Buying Up U.S. Trailer Parks — “They’re the Future”

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WICHITA, KS — Federal documents filed today show that Koch Industries has become the largest owner of trailer parks in the United States quietly buying 26,000 of the 61,000 existing locations in the last year.

“Trailer parks are ideal for millenials who are working hard to become tomorrow’s middle class,” Karl Gruber, Vice President of Koch Brother Dividends, told the Kansas Eagle newspaper.

“They can live their dreams of owning a cozy mobile home with a white picket fence, Wi-Fi, electricity, running water…the works.”

“Trailer parks are a big part of our business growth plan. And if Koch Industries can help America’s families in any way, we’re going to do it.”

An estimated 20 million Americans currently live in trailer parks with more than 90% being retirees, unemployed workers, single parents or students. 4% are cat ladies.

That number is expected to double by 2025 with more than a million mobile homes being constructed annually, many with enough room for a full-size couch and a dishwasher.

“Look. Trailer parks get an ugly rap,” said Gruber.

“They’re really not that bad…I drove through one once. Oh sure there are some like in that TV show Trailer Park Boys but some are really, really nice with no cars up on cement blocks or pit bull attacks. Some owners even plant grass.”

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Koch Industries is the 2nd largest privately-owned corporation in America behind only Cargill Meats & Chemical Fertilizers. Koch is owned by brothers Charles (79) and David (74) who have an estimated combined net worth of $120 billion give or take $10 billion. In 2013, Koch Industries declared $116 billion in revenues give or take $20 billion.

With nearly 20% of housing units in North Carolina alone already being mobile homes, Koch Industries is predicting that fully 50% of employable Americans will call trailer parks home by 2040, many of them opting for the spacious double-wides according to Gerber.

“Hey, you can’t pick up a bungalow and move it to anywhere where there’s work.”

“Trailer parks truly are the communities of the future.”

Randy Lahey
Reportering for The Lapine

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