Local man suggests poutine be renamed “Fries With Crap on Them”


TORONTO — A local man is petitioning Canada’s Food Guide to change the name one of the country’s most popular dishes: poutine (pronounced pooh-tin-ezz).

Torontonian Peter Minkster (28) launched a petition, suggesting that poutine be renamed to “Fries With Crap on Them.”

The Canadian delight received the name ‘poutine’ from some restaurant in the Centre-du-Québec some time in the 1950s but the origins are still unclear.

“It is literally just fries with glop. That is all,” said Minkster, who claims to be a foodie. “It’s a disgusting conglomerate of greasy fries, mountains of cheese and other crap that people decide to pile on top of it. I don’t know why it’s so popular. I don’t understand why it’s called poutine. I don’t know why this is even a dish.”

‘Poutine’ is often confused with ‘Putin’ in Google searches. Both are considered greasy and bad for your health.

He launched the petition after an unfortunate poutine-related incident when his friend from Oklahoma came to visit him. They went to a local pub where his friend ordered poutine for the first time. “My friend had never heard of poutine and wanted to try something new. Our server brought over this huge plate of fries with god-knows-what oozing out of it. It looked like a volcano. I still remember the look of disgust on his face.”

He has not heard from his friend since the incident.

Minkster said he has been gathering signatures in person and his online petition has about 40 signatures, most of whom are his friends and family. He said he plans on taking the idea to MPs, MPPs, and consumer agencies, including the Canadian Food Inspection Agency and Food & Consumer Products of Canada.

However, many are reluctant to sign. “I saw the petition online and I was shocked,” said Hilary Wilder, who loves Canadian cuisine. “Poutine is a national symbol. And it’s delicious. Who cares what we call it? And really…can one loony person actually get people to stop calling it poutine? The whole thing is ridiculous.”

Samuel Dunsiger
Reportering for The Lapine





You may also like...