Man Who Holds Door for Old Lady Goes Unhonoured


HAMILTON — A Hamilton man who held open a door for an elderly lady whose hands were full of shopping bags is demanding he be honoured as a hero.

Dwayne Del Vecchio tweeted his good deed last Monday, but he only received what he describes as “a tepid response.”

“Very few people would put themselves out like that for a total stranger,” Del Vecchio, a 29-year-old bitcoin trader, told the Hamilton Self-Examiner. “I don’t care if other people think my act of valour was merely ‘nice’ or ’sweet’ or ‘common courtesy.’ It’s not like I was looking to hit on Miss Golden Girl over there, with the perm and the shopping bags. It was a pure act of selflessness. In my mind, that makes me a hero.”

Del Vecchio, described by neighbours as whiny, passive-aggressive and full of himself, has launched a GoFundMe campaign to raise $50,000 “to lobby the Governor General to give me the honour I am due.”

“He’s the guy who recognizes heroes such as myself. If Terry Fox is a hero, what does that make me? Chopped liver?”

So far, Del Vecchio’s parents Lena and Howard have contributed $50.

But the self-centred millennial is expecting more by the end of the month.

“Bag lady promised she would kick in $75 as soon as she cashes her next pension cheque. Now that’s a generation that knows the meaning of heroism. I am humbled by the recognition.”

Syd Baumel
Reportering For The Lapine