Most Auto Corrects Faked by Shy Horny People — Apple Inc.

Shares

CUPERTINO, CA — That friend who messaged you about wanting to “hump you from the rear” but then quickly messaged you a follow-up blaming auto correct for having changed his innocent message of wanting to “hug you from the heart”?

Yeah. He doesn’t want to hug.

According to a tracking study just released by Apple Inc., chances are that friend was briefly brave and shared a hidden fantasy about wanting to have doggie-style or rear-door sex with you.

“Siri gets wrongly blamed for a lot of kinky freak stuff that people post out there,” said Donnella Matthews, Senior Data Manager in Apple’s Market Research division.

“It’s simple. “I want to smile like crazy” will never be changed to “I want to smell your mother’s crotch.” Never has been. Never will be. That’s just a confused young man giving himself a jolly and then blaming it on auto correct.”

The tracking research was designed to show that auto correction software programs are not changing common everyday words and phrases into “cowardly rut smut.”

The study compared more than 3 million auto corrects on iPhones, iPads and Mac computers over a 30-day period to more than 47,000 internet screen captures where people claimed auto correct had changed their polite messages into something suggestive, politically incorrect or downright rude.

Sites like www.damnyouautocorrect.com and www.autocorrectfail.org attract millions of site visits and site admins admit that some claims of auto correction are likely faked.

“I have noticed that nothing ever gets auto corrected by mistake to kittens or puppies or the smell of fresh laundry dried outdoors,” said one site owner.

“84% of auto correct claims are about sex and they are false,” said Apple’s Matthews. “If you believe all the posts, any word can get auto changed to Penis, Vagina, Breasts, Anal this, or Anal that.”

“If you get a weirdy message that someone claims is auto corrected, you do need to consider that the software is not out to rub body parts with you.”

“Or your mother.”

Dan LeHomme
Reportering for The Lapine

Shares

Comments

You may also like...