Nevada Rancher Bundy Not Racist Against Lazy, Over-Sexed, Atheist (Likely Drug-Addicted) Negroes

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Rancher Cliven Bundy poses at his home in Bunkerville, Nevada BUNKERVILLE, NV — The rancher in the middle of a dispute with the federal government over his cattle grazing for free on public lands assured Americans today that “there is not a racist bone” in his “white body.”

“I like negroes,” Cliven Bundy told FOX News entertainer Sean Hannity.

“And I like chinamen and indians and brownish people. Got nothing against any of them.”

In a New York Times interview earlier this week, Bundy said he wondered if “the negro” people were “better off as slaves” where they were allowed to “pick cotton” and have “quality family time” and “sing as loud as they want.”

The comments set off a firestorm of reactions with Republicans, who had previously called Bundy a national hero for his land stand, dramatically turning on the rancher. Kentucky Senator Rand Paul told the Times that Bundy is “a big fat ugly racist who spits tobacco juice everywhere and smells like he needs to change his underwear.”

“Ha. I told you so,” said Senate Leader Harry Reid to MSNBC.

“The man is a millionaire domestic terrorist with a fake drawl and enlarged pores around his nose.”

Bundy (67) has been embroiled in a 20-year battle with the federal government for refusing to pay grazing fees for over 1,000 head of his cattle on public land, and for refusing to pay business taxes on an 18-hole mini-putt and horse-shoe pit attraction he has built on the same federally-owned land.

U.S. Bureau of Land Management (BLM) officials have won three court cases again Bundy, who they say owes over $1 million in back fees.

The dispute boiled over earlier this month when BLM officers attempting to seize Bundy’s roaming cattle were confronted by dozens of heavily-armed Bundy supporters who swore a lot while standing behind women, children and extremely old people with walkers.

“I know a lot of negroes,” Bundy told FOX News.

“Nothing different about ’em except the color of their skin…and their lips of course.”

“I do admit I have a bit of a thing against people with carrot red hair though…but who doesn’t?”

Dan LeHomme
Reportering for The Lapine

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