Obama Crayon Pulled in U.S.
PITTSBURGH — The Crayola Fun 48-Pack With Crayon Sharpener will no longer include the Obama Crayon after public complaints forced the American manufacturer to pull the “half-brown” color.
“Not every black man is as white as the President and this peanut shell crayon just rubs colored people’s noses in it,” said former Texas Governor and presidential candidate Rick Perry from his cattle and oil ranch.
“They didn’t even have a George W. Bush Crayon now did they?”
The American Association for the Advancement of Colored People (AAACP) issued a statement calling the Obama Crayon a racist slur and stating that “American children shouldn’t automatically think of President Obama when coloring in an IHOP stack drawing on a placemat.”
Right-wing slander radio jock Rush Limbaugh devoted an entire show to the Obama Crayon saying it was “another example of Liberals brain-washing our kiddlers that we’re all the same under our skin.”
“Crayola used to have a color called ‘Flesh’ but they killed it because blacks and yellows and browns and people with bad skin complained that not everyone has Flesh flesh,” Limbaugh spittled into his microphone. “”Flesh” is now called “Peach”. I am not a Peach.”
Business analysts say they were surprised by the recent introduction of the Obama Crayon given past controversies over so-called Tribute Crayon Colors. The Bruce Lee Crayon received few complaints but was pulled after the Hong Kong actor and martial arts star delivered his famous Enter the Dragon line, “Don’t call me yellow.”
The Michael Jackson Crayon was quietly abandoned by Crayola after repeatedly having to adjust the colour, and the Daniel Day Lewis Crayon was pulled after First Nation protests that the actor who played the lead in The Last of the Mohicans was not native but in fact nothing but a British nancy.
“The Obama Crayon was never intended as color commentary,” said Edward Waxman, Chief Shade Development Officer at Crayola’s Pennsylvania headquarters. “The President is a lovely color…”
Reportering for The Lapine