Obama is Dying His Hair Grey as a “Distraction” — Governor Perry

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U.S. President Obama is greeted by Texas Governor Perry upon Obama's arrival in Dallas AUSTIN — With his own shiny black hair glistening in the Texas sunshine, Rick Perry today accused President Obama of “greying up his fro” to distract the American public from his failures.

“I personally saw an empty box of Just for Men Touch of Grey in the Presidential Washroom on Air Force One,” Perry told media on the steps of the Texas State Capitol building.

“He’s more worried about his image than matters of national importance,” said Perry as he adjusted his glasses for the cameras.

“He should just stay black.”

FOX News followed up on Perry’s accusation this morning, assembling a panel of hair-care experts who agreed with the Governor that Obama has been dying his hair as a distraction from Benghazi, Israel, Iraq, Iran, healthcare, Ukraine, Putin and Hillary Clinton’s pantsuits.

“Oh he’s coloring his head curlies for sure,” said Lance Stelworth, owner of the Man Up styling salon in Memphis.

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“But you can tell it’s a home dye job because he missed the roots.”

Perry, who has avoided questions about a possible Republican presidential bid in 2016, said he has not allowed his own “full, naturally black hair” to become a political issue.

“Hair should not be a distraction,” Perry told his friend, FOX’s Sean Hannity.

“There are 3 things the President is trying to avoid with his hair.”

“One. The invasion of our border by small foreigners.”

“Two. Healthcare and the whole free birth control scam.”

“And three…um…three…damn I knew it a minute ago.”

“I’ll remember here in a minute…was it something to do with semi-automatic weapons? Wait, wait…was it about gays?”

The White House declined to comment on Perry’s hair accusations but spokesman Josh Earnest was caught on CNN microphones laughing.

Dan LeHomme
Reportering for The Lapine

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