Ogopogo Attack Hospitalises Victim

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It had always been Hailey’s dream to find the Ogopogo. Relatives fondly recall memories of Hailey’s past adventures exploring Okanogan Lake. “She would always be down at the lake. Wanting to see the massive serpent, the prehistoric throwback, usually by herself. Looking back we should have told her it was too dangerous. We should have never encouraged it,” is how one relative, who asked not to be named, explained tearfully to The Lapine.

Ever since she was five, Hailey would often be spotted, sometimes with her dad, searching for the elusive and predatory beast. Unfortunately, that dream would come to a tragic conclusion. Hailey was exploring, by herself, a remote beach on the northern shores of Lake Okanogan when she came face to face with the Ogopogo. The Ogopogo, acting as the solitary hunter it is, attacked her immediately. Hailey was badly hurt in the vicious attack and passed out from her injuries.

The next day, beachgoers found her lying unconscious and immediately called an ambulance. Hailey is currently in critical condition at the Kelowna General Hospital and is undergoing intensive treatment.

Her father, speaking to Lapine reporters, blames himself. “I should of known that searching for a gigantic and dangerous reptilian serpent is no good pastime for a young girl,” he cried.

Hailey is currently awaiting major surgery. Her chances of a full recovery are tentatively put at one in three. For now, all we can do is pray for an inquisitive young girl whose dreams went horribly awry.

Meanwhile, on the national stage, conservative MP Rick Dykstrahas proposed a new piece of legislation authorizing the government to hire professional hunters to find and kill the Ogopogo. This move drew harsh criticism from PETA spokesperson Jane Dollinger who has insisted that the Ogopogo is just another victim of this tragedy. Elizabeth May of the Green Party endorsed this view yesterday with a passionate speech in the House of Commons. “For years humans have encroached on the Ogopogo’s natural habitat and polluted the ecosystem that it relies upon for sustenance. The Ogopogo has been backed into a corner and is also a victim in this…”

The NDP has endorsed neither view and has instead laid most of the blame on the Liberals.  However, there is one thing that is clear to everybody, one thing that we can all agree on. Thursday was a tragedy, a tragedy that a little girl and the city of Kelowna, indeed all of Canada, will not soon forget.

 

 

Donations to Hailey and her family can be submitted below

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