POTUS tells SCOTUS to BITEUS

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HOUSTON – After repeatedly saying he had “evolved” on same-sex marriage and other issues, the President Of The United States (POTUS) Barack Obama told the Supreme Court Of The United States (SCOTUS) to Buy Into The Evolving United States (BITEUS).

Or else.

With society-shifting issues either before SCOTUS or heading that way, Obama entered the lion’s den in Tea Party country and came out swinging with unusually blunt and forceful language, giving what many are calling the “speech of this generation”, directly attacking and challenging the almost entirely right-wing audience.

Vocal and at times interrupting the President at the beginning of the speech, the crowd of over 70,000 quickly became subdued and even attentive, but hundreds if not thousands streamed for the doors of the Koch brother’s Reliant Stadium in Houston.

The following is a partial excerpt of the Presidents address picked up at the 4-minute mark:

“We have evolved on same-sex marriage. And I say to the Supreme Court Justices, BITEUS.
We have evolved on gun control and background checks. I say to the Supreme Court Justices, BITEUS.
We have evolved on corporate personhood, Citizens United, and SuperPacs buying our elections. I say to the Supreme Court Justices, BITEUS.
We have evolved on immigration. I say to the Supreme Court Justices, BITEUS.
We have evolved on the environment, health care, abortion, marijuana, religion in government…we have evolved. And I say again to the Supreme Court Justices, BITEUS.
Loudly and clearly, I say to the Supreme Court Justices who will either make evolved decisions or be written off in history books as bigots and fools, BITEUS.
And to you members of the Republican Party…the Reluctant Party…who get all scared about change, I say to YOU an extra loud and extra blunt…BITEUS.
America isn’t waiting for you any longer.
BITEUS.”

Vic Issitude
Reporting for The Lapine

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