Prime Minister Points To His Own Party To Justify Prison Expansion


With the arrest of Conservative senator Patrick Brazeau, and Conservative Mike Duffy in the middle of tax fraud allegations, the Prime Minister reiterated the need for more prisons during a session in the House of Commons.

“Honourable Mister Speaker, the opposition decries my calls for more prisons in Canada, citing a supposed dwindling crime rate, but I submit to you that Canada is swarming with criminals. Just take a look a my caucus,” the PM appealed.

One Liberal MP declared his statement to be “outrageous,” whereas the NDP were strangely quiet on the issue. Outside Rideau Hall, one NDP staffer who wanted to remain anonymous said that  she was against the “prison-industrial complex” like that currently operating in the U.S., and supports integrating offenders back into society, noting that a senator’s pension definitely ensures they need not return to a life of crime out of desperation.

The Brazeau and Duffy scandals are just the most recent in a long list of offenses perpetrated by the so-called “tough on crime” Conservatives. Just a month ago, newspapers reported the cost of the Prime Minister having two bullet-proof limousines flown over with him on a trip to India. Further investigations also uncovered that an aide close to the PM attempted to smuggle an endangered dugong out of India in the trunk of one of those vehicles, to release into the pond on his property outside of Hunstville, Ont. The lovable marine mammal was returned unharmed and the PM promised the Indian government a supply of uranium to make the matter go away.

Public Safety Minister Vic Toews, who is still on probation for stealing a prostate cancer donation box from a 7-Eleven in Port Coquitlam, B.C. has aggressively pushed a two-billion-dollar prison expansion plan.


Jeff Dupuis,

Reporting For The Lapine



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