Prince Charles Passes Gas on Regina Tarmac

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As Prince Charles (64) and the Duchess of Cornwall (65) prepared to depart Canada after a whirlwind tour, guests and security personnel seeing the Royal couple off were taken aback when the Prince passed “loud and pungent” gas while boarding their RCAF jet for the flight back to London.

The moment froze the group of politicians, media and other well-wishers, the silence only broken by Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall nervously laughing in a high pitch and then coughing into his hand.  Caught on video, the 42-second clip has since appeared on YouTube and David Letterman has issued a statement that The Late Show will feature “The Top Ten Things To Say When Royalty Farts” this weekend.

Wearing a dark, tailored Burberry suit and an Aquascutum trench coat, the Prince motioned with his hand as if to wave the moment away and then began to climb the stairs onto the plane.  The Duchess, Camilla, followed him with her shoulders visibally shaking from laughter.

“In some cultures, flatulence is considered a compliment to the chef,” said Robert Finch, Chair and CEO of The Monarchist League of Canada.  “We take this as a Royal compliment to Canada’s fine food.”

The Prince and his Royal entourage had dined earlier with a group of high-school students at a Royal Jubilee Awards banquet that featured western Canadian foods including British Columbia salmon, Alberta beef, Winnipeg Goldeye fish, and Saskatchewan corn.

 “The Top Ten Things to Say When Royalty Farts”  Letterman

The Prince and Duchess had spent a largely uneventful day in Regina prior to the gaseous departure, with the Prince praising the city of 200,000 as a community that would make his great-grandmother proud.  In 1882, Regina was named after Queen Victoria (Victoria Regina) replacing its original name, Pile-of-Bones (really!).  The city is also historically remembered for the hanging of Metis leader Louis Riel who famously “made rebellious wind” as he was marched to his execution.

“Who hasn’t tried to slip a quiet one by?” said Ray Boughton, Conservative MP, in attendance on the tarmac.  “Okay this one wasn’t quiet but the Prince felt comfortable enough in Canada to fluff one out…so what?”

Liberal MP Ralph Goodale says he took a quick step up-wind and says it was “a funny international mini-event blown out of proportion”.  Grinning at reporters as the doors of the aircraft closed, Goodale said, “He farted.  It smelled.  End of story.  I know the Parti Quebecois will crap all over this and spin it as an insult.  It wasn’t…it was just a ploot.  Hell, even the Dalai Lama ploots.”

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who did a street walkabout with the Prince and stopped at a sidewalk vendor for hot dog smokies, said, “Hell yeah he gassed it up…so did the Duchess.  He had saurkraut on his dog and I coulda warned him about that.”

Buckingham Palace did not respond to a request for comment but House of Windsor advisor Lord Winston Tottering cited historical protocol dating back to King Henry VIII that makes reference to “Regal air tulips”.

Regal air tulips may well be one of Letterman’s Top Ten.

 

Steve Boyd

Repoting From The Lapine

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