Saudi Arabia Bans ‘Selfies’

A Duckface - Soon to be illegal in Saudi Arabia
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A leading Saudi Arabian religious leader, Sheikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah al-Sheikh  has issued a fatwa against selfies. The Sheik who carries the title ‘grand mufti’ and is best known for his attempts at curbing the phenomena of women driving, made his ruling in response to the recent deluge of indulgent selfie photos flooding online. “Our morality, it’s sinking! Sinking like Noah’s Ark didn’t!”

The edict, enforceable by the religious police known as the Mutaween, is expected to soon become formal law as The Kingdom’s government struggles to keep up with the recent deluge of fatwas.

The Lapine hit the streets of a major American city to gather quotes on the subject from random uninformed passerbys.

“No driving, drinking or selfies, what’s a Saudi partygirl to do?”

“Fucking selfies.”

“But Human Rights! That includes Islamers right?”

The controversial Sheik is threatening to issue a further fatwa against females performing the notorious ‘duckface’, a party face said to loosely resemble a duck (a common North American water bird).

A senior Chinese official who asked not to be named, confirmed that the Chinese government too is considering measures against selfies. Selfies during work have been estimated to cost China nearly two hundred million work-hours a year in wasted time as well as leading to marathon accidents.

Sarah Palin vowed to take a selfie in Saudi Arabia in support of all white women but accidently booked a flight to the similarish sounding Swaziland instead.

 

Carl Welenssry

Reportering From The Lapine

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