Settlers of Catan Canada’s Best Chance At Gold


As a nation who struggles in sports that don’t involve ice skates, Canada has the opportunity to become the inaugural World Champions in men and women’s Settlers of Catan.

Introduced this year along with Risk, the two board games have been implemented in a modified way to allow more of the world’s best to compete at the Olympics.

“With Risk we are hoping to simulate a real war, between the best of the best of each nation,” said Olympic Games Chair Sebastian Coe. “We would allow each country to send up to 1% of their army, from any combination of their forces.” He later added that “in order to ensure this event can take place in the future, we’re going to require the athletes use rubber bullets”. The event begins August 3rd at the Hastings battleground.

While the Americans rush to pass a $1 trillion dollar defense bill in support of their athletes, Canadians are turning their attention to Settlers of Catan. In order to modify the game so that it could be considered athletic, the resources each team will use will be physical resources which must be carried from their resource stock to various places on the life sized game board. The teams will be composed of 9 members, 8 of whom will be the gatherers who bring the resources onto the board. The last member is the strategist, analogous to the coxswain in rowing, who will guide the team and determine how and where to spend their resources.

This alone Coe considered “too even a competition” so he further stipulated that “each team can bring as many resources as they want, but the resources must originate from your own country and need be on hand at the start of the event to be used”. He later addressed ports, by stating “each team receives as many ports as the number of oceans their country borders, which can be used as any of the standard Catan ports of their choosing”.

The abundance of rock, wheat and forest give the Canadians a large advantage, and the prevailing opinion is that they’ll use their 3 allocated ports on 2:1 ports for each of those three resources, though nothing is set in stone. The legendary “Saint” John Ryan will lead the men’s team as strategist, while Elia Martin of Regina leads the women.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper is particularly excited about the potential of the Canadian Olympic Catan team. “Being able to build cities out of just wheat and stone – it’s incredible!” the Prime Minister exclaimed. “I have already put my best scientists on the task of discovering the Catan formula for building prisons.”

With the clear advantage in both resources and ports, the Canadians are not only considered a contender, they are expected to win. The women’s event take place on August 4th, with the men’s on August 5th.

Ryan Petty

Senior Sports Analyst

Reporting for The Lapine



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