Slain Gorilla to be Stuffed and Returned to Zoo Enclosure After Massive Public Outcry



CINCINNATI — In an attempt to calm social media mobs calling for justice for a silverback gorilla killed by sharpshooters, harassed Cincinnati Zoo officials announced today that Harambe will be rejoining his troop as soon as taxidermists finish stuffing him.

And capturing him in a jungle-like pose.

“Except for him not moving, most people won’t even notice Harambe is in fact dead,” said marketing manager Alan Goodenall.

“He’ll be vacuumed every night to keep him looking fresh and some days we’ll scatter some bananas around him for added realism.”Cincinatti-Gorilla-Sized“When the zoo is closed, Harambe will be available for photo opportunities and corporate functions. Bookings can be made by emailing me at or you and your kids can follow Harambe’s new adventures on Twitter @CincinnatiZoo.”

17-year-old Harambe was killed by police sharpshooters after he discovered a 4-year-old boy who had crawled through some bushes and fallen into the gorilla enclosure.

Social media erupted with many saying it was unnecessary to shoot the 400-pound (181.5-kilogram) western lowland gorilla and with dozens of social media petitions getting hundreds of thousands of signatures — and tens of thousands of comments from “frothing screwballs”.Cincinniti-Gorilla-Protesters-SizedThose petitions included calls for an investigation as to how a child could get into the Gorilla World enclosure, and demands that the mother of the boy be jailed. One petition that gained more than 10,000 signatures urged Ohio Governor and former GOP presidential candidate John Kasich to have the woman’s fallopian tubes tied.Cincinniti-Zoo-Horizoontal-Gorilla-Enclosure-SizedWestern lowlands are the gorillas most often displayed in zoos but are an endangered species in their native Africa.

“This was a tragedy that we very much regret and we will fix the hole in the fence…but the young boy is safe and now people will still be able to visit the zoo and see Harambe,” Goodenall told WLWT Channel 5 News.

“Yes, Harambe was just entering his prime breeding age but we were able to rescue his testicles — our veterinarians are working with his sperm behind the scenes now and we all hope he will become a father soon.”

“So, starting next week, come on down and visit Harambe at the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Gardens daily from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.”

“In 8 months or so, it’ll be just like you’re in the wild jungles seeing his little gorilla children romping all around him.  They’ll just think their father is a quiet kinda guy.  Haha.”

Sue Dunum
Reportering for The Lapine