Stephen Harper Image Appears on Man’s Grilled Cheese Sandwich

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TORONTO — 42-year-old David Shearer just wanted a late-night snack but he says he was stunned to discover the face of Prime Minister Stephen Harper on one of his slices of grilled Wonder Bread.

And today the unemployed father of two threatened to eat the stale sandwich if Conservative supporters don’t stop lining up outside his door to bear witness to the toasted political miracle.

“I never should have posted the damn Harper toast picture on Facebook,” Shearer told the Toronto Star earlier today as dozens of people crowded into his small kitchen to take selfies.

“And what’s worse than all these people is that Harper is using his sandwich face to raise money for the Conservative Party.  Jesus Christ that’s cheesy…sorry.”

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Within hours of Shearer’s Facebook post topping 40,000 Likes and Shares, Harper’s official website began selling t-shirts ($49.95 plus GST) and golf shirts ($79.95 plus GST) with his slice-of-bread face under the headline, “Harper — The Greatest Thing Since Ever”.

“Prime Minister Harper is acknowledging that he did in fact appear on Mr. Shearer’s toast this morning,” said Harper Chief Spokesman Rob Nicol.

“Mr. Harper will be phoning this voter later today to share his personal stories of seeing his own face often on toasted bagels and pop tarts…and once on a low-fat chicken burrito.”

Images of Jesus on toast are frequently reported by fundamentalists and alcoholics around the world but this is the first known instance of a Canadian politician joining the ranks of Jesus and other figures of worship on food items.

“Prime Minister Harper is committed to reaching each and every Canadian voter to reassure them that he will protect them from being killed in their sleep by terrorists,” said Nicol.

“It could be on a TV ad, Twitter, or even your morning toast.”

“The Prime Minister works in mysterious ways.”

Robin Steele
Reportering for The Lapine

 

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