Tagged: conservatives

RCMP Drop “Mounted” From Name — Now RCP

OTTAWA — In a move that took rank-and-file RCMP officers and Canadians by surprise, the Conservative government announced today that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police will no longer be mounted. The RCMP have become...

Harper Replaces the Nickel’s Beaver with a Majestic Eagle

Stephen Harper today announced from the lobby of the Canadian Mint that the Canadian nickel would receive a dramatic overhaul early this year. Flanked by The Governor of the Bank of Canada Stephen Poloz and Minister...

Harper Slips Up — Says Words “Climate Change” for First Time Ever

Harper Slips Up — Says Words “Climate Change” for First Time Ever

OTTAWA — A University of Toronto study released earlier this week found that Prime Minister Stephen Harper has never said the words “climate change” in public. Until last night. The P.M. seemed to surprise...

Harper Unveils “Subtle” Changes to Canadian Flag

OTTAWA — Prime Minister Stephen Harper surprised media this morning by unveiling a “new-look” Canadian flag in red, white, and blue that “just by fluke” matches the colours of the Conservative Party’s logo. “I...

John Baird Hospitalized for Brass Testicles

OTTAWA — Seconds after giving a rousing speech earlier today shouting that Canada won’t back down from military conflict with “that f***ing little shit Putin”, Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird complained to his bodyguards...