Condom Panic Hits N.Y. as Snow Storm Looms
NEW YORK — Governor Andrew Cuomo has issued an emergency appeal to New York men to be realistic about how much sex they will have during the looming snow storm and stop buying condoms...
Tagged: environment
Harper Slips Up — Says Words “Climate Change” for First Time Ever
OTTAWA — A University of Toronto study released earlier this week found that Prime Minister Stephen Harper has never said the words “climate change” in public. Until last night. The P.M. seemed to surprise...
Man Living in Micro Home Sadly Not Getting Laid
KAMLOOPS, B.C. — As a result of attempts to reduce his carbon footprint, local male Colby Richmond has also drastically reduced his vagina footprint. “My hipster friends were ‘Liking’ a lot of posts about...
Farmer’s Almanac Forecasts “Really Effed-Up Weather” This Coming Winter
LEWISTON, MAINE — Blizzards in Miami. Rain storms in Montreal. Heat waves in Fargo, North Dakota. Monsoons in Boston. The venerable Farmer’s Almanac is warning North Americans to stock up on long johns in...
Confused Tea Partiers Misread ‘Conservationists’ – Show Up For Environmental Rally
Local Montana Conservationists were initially surprised at a larger than expected showing of support at a local environmental rally in Helena, though it quickly became clear that the majority of newcomers were confused Tea...
One Little Fox Fights Back — Keeps Sneaking into Tar Sands Plant and Pooping in Lunch Room
FORT McMURRAY, AB — Canadian scientist and environmentalist Dr. David Suzuki says he likes the fox’s style. Shell Canada says the Canadian Swift Fox that has “crapped all over the place” in one of...
