NEW YORK — Police across North America are warning yuppies with more money than brains to stop poncing about flashing their Apple Watches to show they’ve got it going on and you don’t. “Unless...
WHITEHORSE, YUKON — In response to declining sales resulting from the utter fashion confusion of middle-aged men who own their own tools, industrial clothing retailer Mark’s has instituted a system for the purchase of...
KAMLOOPS, B.C. — As a result of attempts to reduce his carbon footprint, local male Colby Richmond has also drastically reduced his vagina footprint. “My hipster friends were ‘Liking’ a lot of posts about...
First off, before one can attack something, one must first define it. Unless, of course, your last name is also a shrub, which ours, most regrettably, is not. So we shall therefore begin by proceeding...
