Tagged: military

France Preemptively Surrenders to Russia

 PARIS – In a move that stunned the diplomatic world and added a new complication to the crisis in Ukraine, French President Francois Hollande announced today that he had been in contact with Russian...

France Officially Adopts White-Surrender Flag

France has announced formal plans to remove the red and blue colors from its flag which, “frequently get in the way of surrendering.” This color change will both better represent the country’s love of...

Self-Aware Drones Topple Obama Administration

WASHINGTON – Yesterday, self-aware drones toppled the Obama administration in the world’s first robotic coup, going on to declare the formation of an autonomous machinocracy shortly after. The robotic rebellion seems to have begun...

Walmart Halts Sales of Weapons At Stores In Syria

In war-riddled Syria’s capital Damascus, 78-year old Ahmoud shuffles his way to work every morning in the hot morning sun. He walks with a limp down the sidewalk oblivious to the occasional burst of...

Syrian Almost Ceasefire Imposes Responsible Massacres

The explicit violence in Syria may soon be coming to a final long awaited conclusion. Senior NATO and Arab League officials met with Syrian president Bashar Al Assad in Damascus on Friday and brokered...