Tagged: technology

NSA to Offer Proof-Reading, Filter Services

WASHINGTON, DC — Months after the NSA admitted that it monitors the electronic and telephone communications of nearly every American citizen, the clandestine organization held a press conference on Monday to make an offer...

Self-Aware Drones Topple Obama Administration

WASHINGTON – Yesterday, self-aware drones toppled the Obama administration in the world’s first robotic coup, going on to declare the formation of an autonomous machinocracy shortly after. The robotic rebellion seems to have begun...

Top 3 Cuss Words on Twitter

“Ass-Hat” is the #1 rude word on Twitter, used nearly 1,000 times per second according to a report by marketing analysis firm Social Media User Diagnostics. “48% of tweets contain at least one word...

Facebook Whore Likes Everything

SEATTLE- According to sources, local Facebook harlot and newsfeed wrecker Carol Freeson reportedly ‘likes’ every single picture, status, or post that she sees on Facebook. Several notable psychologists have speculated that how easy it...

New BlackBerry 10 Has A Taser Stun App

TORONTO -In a breakthrough for smartphones, the new BlackBerry 10 has a self-defense Taser that will knock a 300-pound sweaty slob bothering you at your local nightclub on his/her greasy ass. Using third-generation technology...