Tagged: terrorism

Harper Raises Terrorist Threat Level to “Pre-Election”

OTTAWA — Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced today that he is raising Canada’s national security status to a previously unheard-of level, but encouraged Canadians to go about their daily lives while avoiding talking to...

Vending Machines Outdo Islamic Terrorists

Since 2002, Al-Qaeda has struggled to kill more decadent westerners than vending machines. Some rare years they win but usually they fail. The Lapine’s intrepid reporters managed to sit down with a leading Al-Qaeda member whose...

Harper Warns Canadians That Terrorists are Bloody Everywhere

Harper Warns Canadians That Terrorists are Bloody Everywhere

OTTAWA — Prime Minister Stephen Harper urgently urged Canadians today to keep a patriotic eye out for telltale signs that a neighbour, peculiar co-worker, or embarrassing uncle has become a Jihadist terrorist. “Look. Nobody...

Harper Proud to Say He Met a Muslim Once

OTTAWA — Prime Minister Stephen Harper said today that not all Muslims are terrorists in the making and warmly recalled the day he once met a young Muslim back in his minority government days....

Charlie Brown is the Charlie in Charlie Hebdo

PARIS — Some very brave people at the French satirical newspaper Charlie Hebdo died today. But they didn’t die for their satire. They died for freedom of speech. Freedom of expression. Freedom to expose....