Texans Vote Ted Cruz “Sexiest Candidate for President” — Republican Poll
HOUSTON — The Republican Party of Texas released a state-wide poll today showing that women surveyed think Ted Cruz would be “the yummiest President ever, ever, ever”.
“He’s got those bedroom eyes that turn me into a puddle,” said one respondent quoted by Lone Star Research in the media release on the poll of 1,100 female members of the Texas Republican Party’s Tea Party wing.
“I love Ted’s pouty looks…he’s so sensitive and yet so manly at the same time,” read another released quote.
“His swept-back hair makes me imagine him riding a wild horse…bareback…him and the horse,” read a third of the more than 500 quotes.
Facebook, Twitter and other social media quickly jumped on the sexiest man label with most comments loudly disagreeing with the poll results.
“Ted Cruz looks like he’s got a baked potato up his ass and likes it,” said @austinrocks.
“Oh man. Now I’ve got to move out of Texas,” posted @Don’tUseMyName.
“Ewwww,” said @hulahooper.
Runners-up were libertarian presidential candidate Rand Paul (“I want to loop my fingers in his boyish curls.”) and Florida Governor Rick Scott (“I want to see my face in his shiny bald head.”). Jeb Bush received no comments.
**UPDATE: The Houston Chronicle today said the poll “is a pile of stupid and is not reflective of the opinions of Texas women.”
THE HOUSTON CHRONICLE HAS ASKED READERS TO WEIGH IN:
“Do you find Ted Cruz even the slightest bit sexy?”
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Reportering for The Lapine