Troller Admits He Doesn’t Know What Douchebag Means


LOS ANGELES — One of America’s most active internet trollers is paid thousands of dollars a week by a GOP Super PAC to make inflammatory comments on liberal social media sites but admits he doesn’t know what his most frequently used word means.

“Douchebag? The real thing? I think maybe it’s like a portable cleaning kit in a bag for a woman to keep things scrubbed down there. Like some little brushes and soap and stuff,” Zee Man (not his real name) told KABC-TV Los Angeles, his image digitally disguised.

“Look, when I use it I mean someone who’s talking through their shitter hole. But you’re asking me what a real medical douchebag is for like women right? Not really sure…but it’s a great word.”

Zee Man says he spends upwards of 15 hours a day trolling across all social media using dozens of different accounts and aliases. A study by the Harvard School of Business estimates that there are more than 15,000 professional internet trollers (commonly referred to as “Pro Tros”) across the U.S. paid to influence public opinion on social and political issues by actively pushing specific messages or attacking contrary opinions.

Recently, it was confirmed that FOX NEWS uses so-called Pro Tros and their own news staff regularly to “storm the internet” in defense against accusations of biased and inaccurate reporting, specifically most recently of being the “spokes-station for the Republican party.”

Zee Man says it’s the new way of the world.

“Look, I call hundreds of people douchebags every day when they’re spurting off about abortion rights say, or free food stamps, or polar bears having no more icebergs,” he said.

“Does it matter if I know what a woman’s cleanup douchebag is? Nah. I get paid. The douchebags get stupid angry or scared. It all works.”

“I call ya’ a douchebag on Facebook? It’s nothing personal. It’s a job.”

William Yum
Reportering for The Lapine



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