Trudeau Admits He Had a “Few Beer” Before Feisty Debate

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TORONTO — Justin Trudeau is refusing to apologize today after calling Stephen Harper a “mean old crotch” during the recent Munk Debate.

But the Liberal leader does admit that the “four or five” Keith’s India Pale Ales he downed before going in front of the cameras may have loosened his tongue a bit.

“These debates have all been canned crap so far,” said Trudeau, continuing to use the same surprising bluntness he showed in the debate.

“So, yes, I had a few cold beer backstage.”

“And, yes, I interrupted Mr. Mulcair to point out that he had little bits of cheese or something in his beard.”

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“But, no, I don’t regret being a bit beery with those two…maybe they should try having a few beer and cut the I’m-really-really-smart b.s.  Oh man, I’d pay to see that…a lot of Canadians would I think.”

“What would you say to Mr. Harper if you’d both had a beer or two?”

Harper-Guiness-SizedWhile the little-watched debate was raucous and snide, Trudeau’s combativeness seemed to catch Prime Minister Stephen Harper in particular off guard. Harper was seen frequently flipping through his notes seeming to be looking for a response to Trudeau’s attacks.

“What Canadians have been seeing is political acting — nothing honest at all,” said Trudeau

“Mr. Harper’s opening act every debate? ‘Canada would be in the economic shitter if it wasn’t for me!’ Ha!”

“Mr. Harper’s encore act? ‘This is not racist but be afraid — be very, very afraid.’

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“Mr. Mulcair’s act? Well, it’s just boring isn’t it? Take the stick out of your…well you get what I mean.”

Prime Minister Harper’s Australian strategist Lynton Crosby issued a brief statement the day following Trudeau’s beer admission stating that “the Liberal leader was obviously intoxicated and niqabs are un-Canadian.”

Thomas Mulcair told the Toronto Star that he thought he might have smelled liquor or marijuana on “young Justin’s breath” prior to the debate but told CTV that he’d had a “few belts” himself so couldn’t be sure.

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The next debate is a French language event scheduled for October 2nd.

Trudeau has invited Monsieurs Harper et Mulcair to join him for a few drinks before the cameras start to roll, although Harper has repeatedly stated that he never, ever touches alcohol.

Robin Steele
Reportering for The Lapine

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