Trudeau Releases Liberal Platform Made Up Entirely of Lyrics to 1988 Jamaican Stoner Hit “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”

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OTTAWA — Critics are dismissing it as a mockery of Canadian politics, just plain silly, or proof that Justin Trudeau spends his days in his basement smoking weed.

Supporters are calling it a hilarious nose-thumb of Prime Minister Harper’s constant harping that Trudeau’s Liberal have released no policies.

Either way, Justin Trudeau’s Liberals today distributed copies of their platform that contains nothing but the complete lyrics to the 1988 brain-worm hit “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and a link to the YouTube music video of Bobby McFerrin being extremely laid back.

Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh,” Trudeau said with a straight face for media gathered on the steps of Parliament, choosing to read rather than sing the lyrics.

DontWorryBeHappyBobbyMcFerrin

Confused but grinning reporters at first didn’t know what to make of the Liberal “platform” document nor Trudeau’s serious tone but all except Sun Media columnist Ezra Levant joined Trudeau in belting out the chorus, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”

“Maybe I just don’t get drug addiction humour, but this is not funny,” Prime Minister Harper told CBC, surrounded by 6 plainclothes RCMP officers, one of whom could be seen snapping his fingers to the catchy ditty.

“Ganji (sic), splaffs (sic), blunters (sic)…whatever dopers call Mary Jane these days…is a highly addictive, illegal drug that young Canadians should never inject.”

“Mr. Trudeau is obviously stoned and this ridiculous platform is an insult to Parliament and all sober Canadians.”

Within minutes of Trudeau’s announcement, Ottawa radio station JACK FM (92.3) began playing the oldie and Ottawans could be seen and heard singing the tune along the Rideau Canal.

“Here’s a little song I wrote,
You might want to sing it note for note,
Don’t worry be happy.
In every life we have some trouble,
When you worry you make it double,
Don’t worry, be happy.
Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh.”

William Yum
Reportering for The Lapine

*Editor’s Note: Controversy continues to this day over whether or not the late Jamaican reggae musician Bob Marley ever recorded Don’t Worry, Be Happy. Bob Marley died in 1981…McFerrin wrote and recorded the song in 1988.
**Jamaican Note: Bob Marley’s estate this week launched Marley Natural, a brand of Jamaican marijuana soon to be available anywhere in the world where it’s legal, including Canada where it will be sold as a medical marijuana.
***Conservative Speaker of the House Note: “Parliament is not amused.”

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