Trudeau Switches Shampoos to Try and Perk Up His Poll Numbers

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JustinTrudeauWaving-SizedOTTAWA — Justin Trudeau is blaming dull, lifeless hair for his recent slide in polls but the Liberal leader announced today that he’s feeling more confident and leaderly since switching to Pantene Pro-V Shampoo.

“Look.  My hair was flat…limp…it had no volume,” said Trudeau this afternoon, switching the topic away from reporters’ questions about his unpopular support for Bill C-51.

“I had to admit to myself that when my hair doesn’t have that bounce — that shine — I look like a younger version of Stephen Harper.

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“So when a middle-class friend of mine suggested it could be my shampoo, I really listened.  And I’m glad I did,” said Trudeau as he ran his fingers through his bangs and shook his curls for media photographers.

Trudeau (43) is widely considered better looking than either Prime Minister Stephen Harper (56) or NDP leader Thomas Mulcair (60) but the latest EKOS poll shows Trudeau with just 24% support to become the next Prime Minister, plunging more than 30 points among people who do not read just Sun newspapers.

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The new polls also show the NDP leading with 36% support among decided voters, followed by the Conservatives at 31% and the Liberals a distant third with just 23% support.

However, these polls were conducted prior to Mr. Trudeau switching to volumizing shampoo.

“I know a lot of Canadians are a little bit miffed at me for backing Mr. Harper on his anti-terrorism Bill C-51,” said Trudeau in his one brief comment on the topic that is largely seen as leading to his double-digit decline in popularity.

“But they’re about to see a whole new me leading up to the election.”

Neither Mulcair not Harper replied to texted questions about their preferred choice of shampoo or conditioner.

Lee Whey
Reportering for The Lapine

 

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