Yappy Poodle Owners Warned as Coyote Alert Continues
TORONTO — City Animal Services officials say they have no idea why coyotes have stormed into the city this year nor why the predators seem to prefer poodles and the occasional shih tzu or pug.
“We’re advising owners to keep weeny little dogs indoors or on a string,” said Frank Sellers, Animal Services Director of Animal Relations.
“Squeaky little poodles are snack-sized to a coyote quite frankly.”
“There has been a big increase in missing small dog reports, and two dog attacks in the GTA in the last month…but in one case a pug was trying to hump a coyote’s leg so that one doesn’t really count.”
“Take sensible precautions such as not shampooing and conditioning your pint-sized dog with products that smell like mango or any other desert.”
“Avoid putting those big bright bows in their hair.”
“Paw booties aren’t a problem but they are pretty precious aren’t they? Haha. Just kidding.”
“And for God’s sake, give ’em a wallop if they start to yap.”
“Or a stern finger-wagging if you don’t believe in smacking the little bugger.”
In 2013, Toronto officials recorded 11 coyote sightings within city limits but there have been more than 100 sightings since October 1st this year including one human-coyote confrontation when a pair of the wolf-like animals brazenly entered a 7-Eleven and made off with “multiple bags of Doritos Cool Ranch.”
“I myself am keeping all my teacup poodles indoors until this coyote crisis is over,” Mayor John Tory told the Star.
“I hope all other poodlers will do the same.”
Reportering for The Lapine